"The time has come, the time is now."
And if I were Marvin K. Mooney, you'd better know
I would go. Go. Go! And I wouldn't care how.
I would go. Go. Go! And I wouldn't care how.
But I'm not Marvin K. I'm the mom, and the time had come to begin The Talk. Yep, that one. (Note to my dad: If you're reading this, it's okay to stop now).
The Thinker has always been my challenge. He's a questioner of all things. From the time he was tiny, he stumped me with difficult thoughts -- often in public places, and particularly in the grocery store. I think it was because there he knew he had my attention. It was just he and I, face-to-face, as his stumpy legs dangled from the cart seat, and he sucked his Tootsie Roll pop. I still remember being in the shampoo aisle with a couple of witnesses when he asked me, "How did Jesus die on the cross if you can't kill God?" The Thinker was three at the time. Where to begin with that?
So, I wasn't too surprised really when he started asking about babies and where they come from. The Princess was born over a year ago, and we had answered a few questions through that process as vaguely but honestly as possible. But vague wasn't cutting it anymore. A friend of his had a sister who was unmarried and pregnant, and he just couldn't make sense of it anymore. He kept asking questions, such as, "Did they just get too close, Mom?" Hmmm.
His response, "You better go ask Mom." Bless his Marvin K. Mooney heart. (I love you Dad, and I warned you to stop reading.) It just wasn't something we discussed much at our house.
I remember always being embarrassed when the topic came up. Heavens, I still am depending on the company. But we want open dialogue, and we want our kids to talk to us, so I took the plunge. I asked a few questions to make sure The Thinker and I both knew what he really knew already.
You know men and women are different, right?
It takes an egg from the woman, and a seed from the man?
And God created a special way for married couples to create a baby?
Yes, but HOW?
We got out the books from the series God's Design for Sex as a sort of guideline (for me to know what to tell). We didn't read them word-for-word . . . just talked as we looked.
His response when it was over and we'd clarified a few things was, "Well, that's weird."
Yep.
He and the hubby talked about it again another night. It was just some more affirmation about God's purpose and design for physical love. Questions answered about how Mary was a virgin and had Jesus. More dialogue. And for a few days, I watched for changes in him. Holding my breath . . . afraid somehow that we'd spoken too soon, and all of a sudden he would be no longer innocent boy, but a stranger with too much knowledge. But he's not. He sees it as it is -- or he's forgotten about it for now (which is kinda what I'm hoping).
I sigh with a little bit of relief, because it's done. Until I realize that, actually, it's really just begun. There will be more questions and more dialogue. If he doesn't start it, we will need to. We'll have to talk about STDs, premarital sex, pornography, homosexuality, etc. . . . Yikes. It's a long list. But I'm putting on wisdom and courage and stepping outside of the comforts of ignoring and avoiding --
-- because the time has come to go. Go. Go! and Parent with Purpose.
