My First Gift

He made me a mom.  I remember the doctor's words when she called us into her office to let us know that, no, I was not experiencing the flu.  What I had was going to last much longer.  I remember her grin and my shock at the unexpected news and the silence in the car as my husband and I processed the idea of a change in the timing our dreams.

The best change ever.

I remember the fierce love I felt so early on, so surprising to me, when I experienced some possible complications and feared the loss of that tiny promise of life.  I remember begging God to let everything be okay.  I remember the fear and the anticipation of considering being a parent for the first time.  I remember the first kicks . . . the first of everything.

And then he arrived.  I had never experienced such joy.  When we brought him home, we took turns holding him, examining him, memorizing him, admiring him . . . awed that this perfect baby boy was ours to keep.  Ours alone. 

He taught me the ropes of newborn care -- the shocking realization of what true dependency means.  The all-hours feedings, the "right-now" attitude.  The realization that the labor of his birth was nothing compared to the new job I alone had now.  This thing called motherhood.  I didn't think I could do it. 

And then he smiled.  Four weeks into being on call to a demanding tyrant, he offered a gift, and I was forever hooked.  I didn't realize just how many gifts he had offered me before that moment until much later . . . . how many lessons he was teaching me and how many moments I didn't know would never return.  And I wish now my memory was better or that I could go back and relive just a day now and again.

And now The Thinker's eleven.  Just like that.

He's led me through so many different stages of life, surprising me, frustrating me, challenging me, and captivating me at every turn.  Now, he's this compassionate, competitive, intelligent, handsome, and funny boy-turning-man.  And I long to hold him tightly as he is, for I'm so much more aware of how quickly time passes, how soon he will no longer be eleven but eighteen and then thirty. 

Yet even as I long to hold on, every day I pray that he turns less ours and more His and that he will let his Heavenly Father guide him wherever that will take him.

And wherever that is, he will always, always, carry my heart.

Happy Birthday to my first gift born.

And I count one more time my many gifts #576 - 589:

birthdays to count

grace in parenting

the timing of my first gift

the lessons God teaches through our children

agape love

the privilege of watching children grow

The Thinker has a spiritual birthday too

another reason to gather with family in winter

conversation with my sisters and my brother

Baby Girl's "Happy Birthday to you"

The Stinker's excitement in choosing a gift (and "can't I give both?")

comfort in the hope that each season of life will have its joys . . .

and that moving forward means moving closer

each and every hug from all my Gifts

My First Gift

I'm Doing You a Favor Because I Like You

Perhaps I live under a rock.  I sometimes wonder if I'm the last person to discover great books, toys, ideas, artists, and so on.  Some time ago, I rediscovered a great song and spent the season enjoying it.  It's a lovely, beautiful song called Winter Snow, simple and gorgeous with touching lyrics.  I grew fonder with each listen, so much so that I asked my husband for the artist's CD for Christmas. 

He listened, God bless him. 

Perhaps you live under a rock too.  If so, let me share a few lyrics with you from the CD my husband gave me for Christmas called The House You're Building (which is not a Christmas album and does not contain "Winter Snow") because you don't want to miss this. 

You live in a million places
Your fingerprints can be seen on a million faces
There is a trace of You in every hallelujah
Every song that I sing

For love of You
I'm a sky on fire
Because of You I come alive
And it's Your sacred heart within me beating
Your voice within me singing out
For love of You

You are the highway I travel
Cause I watched You carve streets of gold from the sand and gravel
I gave you brokenness
You gave me innocence
And now, this road leads to glory
For Love of You

And if that doesn't win you over, how about these words:

As the dew falls on the blade
You have touched all this fragile frame
And as a mother knows her baby's face
You know me
As the Summer air within my chest
I have breathed You deep down into my breast
And as You know the hairs upon my head
Every thought and every word I've said

Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be
In the morning, in the evening
You have known me.
Known

If you haven't already, get to know Audrey Assad.  If you know her, share.

You're welcome.

Counting old and new gifts and those new-to-me #551- 575:

a husband who spoils me

new songs

Winter Snow

words

sledding with my family

silly boys

winter lambs

snowmen and the children who build them

a white Christmas

our annual Christmas Eve traditions, plus new memories

The Nativity Story

Snowmen Sundaes

shared communion and "Silent Night" by candlelight in a circle in the sanctuary

winter snow falling, quiet, soft and slow as we left the church

Christmas morning and day

and the next day

and the next (so much family!)

Cella's chocolate covered cherries in my stocking (yum!)

the blessing of being able to give well

the excitement on my sugars' faces because of what they're giving

their belief in the One who gives best

her request to sing "Jesus Loves Me"

her whisper in church days later, "Jesus loves me."

JOY!

a new year full of promise and mystery

I'm Doing You a Favor Because I Like You

When Christmas is Over

I spent weeks planning and shopping and five days baking, cooking, cleaning and preparing.  

I made cake pops with some helpful tips from Alyssa at Loving Life 365.  (They turned out much better than last time.)

I baked gingersnaps and dipped them in white chocolate.  Mmmmm.

I decorated sparkling sour cream sugar cookies.

I stirred together a marbled chocolate bark recipe.

I whipped up chocolate covered cheesecake squares and maple sugar candy.

I served, among several other things, cheese and crackers, bacon-wrapped jalapenos, veggies and dip, and gingerbread men with a pumpkin dip (thanks to a good friend).  The table was full, and that night, so was my house.  It was wonderful.  

We ate the yummies, shared lots of laughter, played for a prize, exchanged ornaments.

And cookies.

The fellowship was delicious.

And then it was over. 

There are just a few days left of Advent.  A few more days of lighting hope, love, peace and joy until the light of the Christ child flames.  There are just a few days left of baking and wrapping and secretive smiles and whispered conversations.

And then it will be over.

The lights will come down, the presents will be put away, the ornaments that mean so much stored for another year.  The anticipation of Christmas packed away.

But not the anticipation of the Christ.

I still wait for Him.  And I will keep Christmas.

"Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End."  Revelation 22:12-13

Come, Lord Jesus.

Keeping Christmas by counting gifts #530 - 550:
 
beautiful cookies brought by beautiful women

Christmas joy

hugs and laughter

sparkling glass dishes

red candles in white snow

a snow day for The Thinker

the question, "Mom, can we pray?"

holding a newborn baby

playing in the snow with my children and my best friend's boys

safely driving on the white stuff

trees laced with snow

The Stinker's first public piano performance

glittering cattails on a frozen pond

finding the perfect tree with my mom and dad

Christmas Town at the Creation Museum

a live nativity

thousands of lights

good in-laws to share the experience with

the story told anew

The Savior

the expectation of His return

When Christmas is Over

Pondering the Gifts

Christmas is a time for reflection.

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  Luke 2:19

As I reflect on the cherished ornaments and keepsakes that have been given to me  

and made .  .

as I pull out these treasures that remain hidden in a box for much of the year,

I take the time to remember. 

These gifts stir in my heart memories of days past and point to people that are special to me.  My husband who knows me.  My grandmother, now waiting on the other side.  My friends in other parts of the world.  My mom who knits love and her grandmother before her who did the same.  My children and their preschool days.

While the gifts are beautiful to me, it is the people that are the true treasures.

And when I reflect on the gifts, I'm invariably led back to the Giver who became Gift, and I ponder the Person who is Christmas. 

I treasure His words and ponder them in my heart.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given.  Isaiah 9:6

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights.  James 1:17

Thanks be go God for his indescribable gift!  2 Corinthians 9:15

Pondering and giving thanks for these treasures, these God-whispers, #511 - 529:

memories hanging on the tree

my grandma and grandpas, whom I still miss and will until we meet again

a happy childhood

my husband's thoughtful gifts

Christmas baking

the smell of cinnamon and sugar cookies

warm slippers

thick, fuzzy blankets

the silky feel of Baby Girl's hair as I read to her

sitting between The Thinker and The Stinker during The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

knowing Aslan by his many names here

a church Christmas program

my Christmas angel

and wisemen

the sweetness of an old story told in a fresh way

Christmas greetings from friends and strangers

tucking my children in each night

the angels who watch over them (Matthew 18:10)

a God who gives constant attention to each of us

Pondering the Gifts