Did you ever dream of making a grand entrance? You know, the Scarlett O'Hara type with the big ball gown down a sweeping staircase with all eyes on you? I think it's a common little girl dream that hangs around even in big girls' heads. That idea of holding the attention of all those watching as you are looking your most beautiful and put-together.
Well, this isn't one of those entrances. This is a quiet, backdoor visit. The comfortable kind between friends wearing pony tails and cut-off shorts because I just can't make the effort to put on the makeup and best dress -- and I know I don't have to because we like each other. I'm here to tell you of my indecision and my confession.
When I stepped away from my computer a couple of weeks ago, I felt relief. No more checking emails to see if anyone had a thought to share that I needed to respond to. No more expectations of reading other blogs and leaving my thoughts with them. No more pondering and designing in my head how to share something worthwhile with everyone . . . and with excellence, to boot.
For almost three weeks now, I've been swimming in writer's laziness. And I can't decide if I want to stop.
I've been journaling for years and not sharing it except on occasion. I've mentioned that before. There's no pressure that way to craft or to proofread or to filter thoughts in an organized fashion. And there's no pressure to keep a timetable so that a reader knows when to expect it. I have a greater respect for journalists now.
What I've learned about blogging: be regular in your writing, share quality content over quantity, connect with your readers. All good advice. But it's also tiring at times. And there is the meat of my confession. My retreat has shown me just how time-consuming and tiring my journaling in this format has been. And so this is me in my indecision: Do I continue or not? I question it because I do appreciate the accountability to write better. I confess I am also slightly addicted to the feedback you are gracious to give. But most of all, I've discovered some really great people that I will likely never meet but enjoy a connection with. People I hope to sit with someday on the other side and talk with face-to-face. You people.
I would appreciate any prayers and thoughts you wish to send my way as I try to decide how to handle this.
Thanks, my friends.
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